I had been living inside a deep dark depression for two years and I knew if I didn't do something about it that it would destroy me. And for some reason, at the very pinnacle of my health and fitness, I threw it all away. I definitely got thrown for a loop after I completed my Spartan Race. I think there was just so much that transpired during the months surrounding that race. Reagan's health issues and trouble in school finally hit the fan, I withdrew her from school and in a whirlwind decided to homeschool her, I quit my job, we moved out of the house my children had been growing up in, a home where we had been happy, my grandfather died, and the race I had been preparing myself for, mentally and physically, was over. 

The race was so physically demanding that I took some mandatory rest days after. During that rest period I finally had to face all of the other issues that had required my attention. I didn't know what to do about anything and I felt like the identity I had worked so hard for over the last year was now into suspension and I didn't know what was next. My rest period never ended. I have jumped back into my workouts here and there but haven't stuck with it in all that time. And now, here I am, 50+ pounds heavier, depressed again, and more miserable, physically, than ever. 

Well, this week, that switch flipped again. Enough is enough. How long can I justify destroying my health when I have SO much to live for? My career is finally in a really wonderful place!! Seriously, God is doing some absolutely amazing and wonderful things through my career. I couldn't be more excited watching my and my family's dreams coming true! What an incredible blessing! Homeschooling is going fabulously as well! Reagan has her first drama club performance next week. She will be Linus in You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown. She is doing pretty well with her school curriculum and her behavior since we started chiropractic and essential oils has made a complete 180. It's astounding! Caleb is reading and Kiki starts Kindergarten in a few weeks!

When so much of my life is finally taking off in the right direction, why do I still lean on the same old crutches that I used to justify because of a bad first marriage and a heartbreaking divorce? It's been 10 years. Really, it's been 10 years ago this year. It's time to move on. 

So, I'm on Day 2 of 21 Day Fix (again, lol). But the switch is flipped, my diet is on track, and I'm feeling great! Forgot to take my starting measurements so I will try to do that tomorrow. Join me on myfitnesspal and let's cheer each other on! :)

Peace out!