This is Sparta!!
Chrissie
Let me just preface this by saying that it is a very long post and it has been a long time coming. I just wasn't sure how to go about sharing something that was both deeply spiritual and overwhelmingly physically trying. I am thoroughly convinced that this post doesn't even begin to shed light on the kind of accomplishment it is to complete one of these races. Those who go on to complete Spartan Supers and Beasts have my utmost respect and admiration.

Ok, where to start, where to start? So you all know by now that I'm a Beachbody coach and I love seeing the impact that proper exercise and nutrition can have on someone's whole life. Whether it's through use of a Beachbody program or not, the changes that take place mentally, emotionally, and spiritually when you make the choice to get off the couch are absolutely unprecedented! That's why, when last year my brother (5 years younger, who was, at the time, expecting his first baby) asked me to sign up to do a race with him, I said "Hell yeah!", wanting to give him all of my support. [***Disclaimer** I am by absolutely zero means a runner of any fashion. I don't run. And I have always supported the statement 'If you SEE me running, you had better run too because there's something chasing me'!] I told him to pick a local race and we would train for it and do it! Little did I know that he would pick the Spartan Sprint to be held in a mere 7 months!!!!

Not knowing much about the Spartan Race other than it being what I considered to be "extreme" I set off for Google and YouTube. If I could use one word to describe my reaction, it would be 'terror'. I was completely terrified. I read comments from others describing painful injuries, hypothermia, broken limbs, permanent disability, and the possibility of death!! To say I was scared is an understatement like no other. I procrastinated on signing up. Then I got the email invite from my brother to sign up with Team Mudstache so I bit the bullet and began filling out the forms. When I got to the liability waivers, I panicked! I had 3 small children; how could I sign a waiver of liability in the event of my permanent disability or even death?!? So, I stopped and prayed about it for a couple of days and the Scripture that kept coming to me was 2 Timothy 1:7 "For I have not given you a spirit of fear, but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind." So, I signed the waiver.



I had planned to train much harder than I actually did over the months that followed but I completed P90X and started T25 before we bought a house and began packing for a move. The move consumed nearly two months of me as well as a procrastination out of self pity over the loss of my grandfather just days before Christmas. Before I knew it, it was just days before the race. I got some workouts in early that week and then figured I was as in shape as I was going to be. Instead I concentrated on hydrating and trying to stay injury free despite a tumble down the stairs in our new house mid week. Aah!! Thankfully, I was only bruised in the fall! 

My nerves twisted into bundles that grew each day that week. The night before the race Mike took me and the kids to my favorite restaurant to eat my "last meal", lol! I barely slept the whole night, I was so on edge. I had nightmares and waking anxiety about oversleeping. Once I woke up in a cold sweat and nauseous, convinced I had come down with the flu and would not be able to race. Finally, my alarm went off and the adrenaline began to rush! It was race day!!

The day before I had bought myself some awesome new workout clothes to wear for the race so I got dressed, made my Shakeology, and waited for my brother to arrive to pick me up. When he arrived, the kids wished us luck and I hugged them goodbye. Mike exchanged words with Casey which were something along the lines of me returning in one piece. Ha! I hopped in the truck and we were off. We picked up both of our team members along the way and headed for the horse park in Conyers for what would be a first Spartan Race for all four of us. My stomach was light and jumpy the whole way there and as we pulled into the park and found our parking space, I was sure I would faint. 

The walk to the sign-in stand from the parking lot was a distance all by itself and I retreated into my own mind during the walk, contemplating several times turning around and waiting at the truck for the guys! The weather was perfectly gorgeous! Sunny and cool, 50ish early and probably close to 70 by midday. As we approached the entrance you actually walk under one of the obstacles, The Bridge. I got in line and picked up my envelope and the guys and I went in and started attaching our timing bracelets and race bibs. After we got our stuff stowed away we made our way toward the start gate for our 11:45 heat time. Right before you get to the gate, there is a table with people handing out sharpies and offering to "mark" you. I let one of the ladies mark my bib number on my left calf and we got in line at the gate for our heat. At this point my nerves went into overdrive. I can't quite explain what was happening in my stomach at that moment. I began reciting Scripture in my head, "You were made for such a time as this." and "Nothing shall in any way harm you."

When they unlocked the gate to let our group in, to my surprise, you had to go over an obstacle just to get to the start corral. It was a 5 foot wall, which I pitifully attempted and failed miserably at. It was humiliating and I wanted to cry, run and hide, and die all at once. Casey said, "Really?" and boosted me over. That is when dread set in, not just fear or nerves, but dread and terror. For 5-10 minutes while waiting in the corral with everyone else I fought an overwhelming urge to run into the woods and vomit repeatedly. Oddly for me, the shame of quitting scared me more than the fear of going through with the race. There was a guy at the head of the line with a microphone and he must have been saying something motivational because everyone was cheering and shouting. Then the crowd of racers began chanting, "Aroo, aroo, aroo!", a gunshot sounded and we were off!!

**This is not my photo but one I found on Google of the same race. 


I took off after my brother at a decent paced jog and at about 200 yards in I was already tired of running! Bahahaha!! You see, I thought that all the cardio I had done in my super awesome workouts like P90X, Les Mills, Combat, and T25 had prepared me enough so I never bothered with any running training. The first obstacle was The Steeplechase. It was a series of low fences preceding knee deep mud pits which you had to jump over and into which ensured muddy shoes from the get-go and for the remainder of the day. Running became even more enjoyable after that. <insert sarcastic smirk>

I no longer remember the exact order of the obstacles after that but there was a series of over-unders, a very long and low crawl-under obstacle that we opted to roll under which made it so much easier, and a slanted inversion wall to start with. The slanted inversion wall was awesome. I was so proud of myself having the strength to pull myself over that wall! Early on were also the giant mud pits. The pits were about 8 feet deep and half filled with mud so that when you slid down into the pit, you were waist deep in freezing cold muddy water that you then had to wade through to find a rope to pull yourself up and out the other side. There were 3 of these to get through. My favorite part of this obstacle was when, after climbing out of the 3rd and last pit, the guy next to me turned to look back at the obstacle we had just overcome and said, "That was fun!" Something sparked in me and, at that moment, I could feel the Holy Spirit smiling in my own spirit. 

**This is not my photo but one I found on Google of the same race. 


There were more walls, traditionally called Hobie walls, each time getting taller, 7 foot, 8 foot, and finally 9 foot. Casey and Steven boosted me on all of them. I wouldn't have been able to do it without the two of them. There was more running, steep climbs up and down, sometimes in deep mud. And there was mud, lots of mud. Deep mud, slippery mud, sliding mud, crazy mud. When I started feeling weak and tired on the trail I would recite Scripture to myself. On the slippery sharp rocks in the creek and the mud slides going downhill it was, "He makes my feet as the hind's feet." When I hit a wall of exhaustion it was "He renews my energy and I mount up on wings as eagles."

The spear throwing obstacle was the first one we all failed and had to take the 30 burpee penalty. Let me just say that 30 burpees when you're already exhausted is brutal. The Herculean Hoist was so FUN!! The sandbag is about 50 pounds and is attached to a rope and pulley. You have to hoist the sandbag to the top of the pulley and then lower it back down without letting the sandbag fall or land hard. It was hard and it totally wasted my forearms but I rocked it like a beast! Immediately following was the bridge obstacle which happened to be the bridge we entered the race grounds through when we arrived that morning. The nearly vertical climb to the top of the bridge was on widely spaced, narrow, wooden boards. It should have been fairly easy for me but with my forearms shaking and weak, it was not at all. The top is made from the same widely spaced boards. No room for error at all and nothing to hold on to. It was just high enough that I felt queasy getting across. Next up was the traverse wall which was another team fail and 30 burpees each were paid. At this point you believe you're almost done because you've already come approximately 3 miles. Wrong! 

The trail continued back into the woods for more trail running. At one point, the trail wound along the edge of a cliff that looked over a beautiful valley and I literally stopped to admire the amazing view and praise God for the gift of it all and for encouraging me to go out and play in it. 

One of the next obstacles we came to was called The Choice. You could either climb a 500 foot sheer cliff face with nothing but a cargo net or you could run to the top following the trail the long way around. The guys chose straight up so that is what we did. I walked up to the net and began to put one hand and foot in front of the other, focusing only on my hand and foot placement. I never looked up, down, or back and became quite oblivious to the others around me. I was terrified. Once I became aware that I was at the side edge of the net and realized that I was very high up with nothing to catch me if I was to fall off that net, except about 20 other Spartans behind me, lol. Others around me caused the net to shake and wobble and the cliff face curved inward where there was nothing to hold onto BUT the net. Again I started quoting Scripture, "I can do all things through Christ Who strengthens me." and "Nothing shall in any way harm you." I could hear Casey calling down to me from the top. When I finally reached the top and climbed over the edge of the net to safe ground, I dropped to my knees nearly in tears, completely overcome with emotion. But...ever onward. There was still more racing to do. 


**This is not my photo but one I found on Google of the same race.


After that I had new passion, new oomph! I ran with more speed and more energy. We ran up for what seemed like forever and the scene reminded me of Band of Brothers when they climbed Currahee up in Toccoa, GA. When we came to the sandbag carry, I grabbed my sandbag, slung it over my shoulder, and continued the upward trek. Casey came up beside me and we commiserated over sore muscles for a moment before I suddenly felt inspired and shouted 'Currahee!' and picked up the pace, finally heading back down the trail and jogged past the guys. I heard one of them wonder out loud, "What the hell is she doing?" Hahaha!

I opted out of the rope climb after watching all 3 guys fail out and imagining myself breaking an ankle, so I gracefully (or not) paid my 30 burpees and headed over to the slippery 10 foot inverted wall. You have to use a rope to pull yourself over. I started out well until I was about a foot from the top when I slipped and fell down dangling from the rope. I couldn't get any traction but was so wasted with exhaustion that I was chanting, "No! I can't do more burpees!!" About that time, Steven popped up from the other side and gave me his hand! I was able to throw my leg over and got to the other side. Whew!

The next and almost last obstacle was a mud crawl/swim almost a quarter mile in length under barbed wire. It was slow, cold, slimy, and painful as there were sharp rocks (and other things) in the shallow mud that you had to slither through. But it was awesome!! The guys were waiting on the other side for me and we jumped over the fiery logs and fought the gladiators (basically dudes in costumes hitting you with giant marshmallows, lol) and....crossed the Finish Line!!

When I crossed that finish line, the one that actually says You Will Know at the Finish Line, I nearly broke down in tears. And when the cute muddy girl came over to me and put my medals around my neck, I did break down in tears. I will never be able to accurately describe that feeling with words. There are no words for that amazing feeling. I may have been that girl walking around collecting my banana and protein drink, muttering "I did it! I really did it! I finished! I didn't think I could and I did! I really did!" I cried again when I wrote that in my journal and I'm crying now typing it here. What an overwhelming accomplishment for me. 

And I completed my journal entry that day with these final words:

"And it's over now. Thank God!! I'm a Spartan!!!"

AROO!! 











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The Power of a Powerful Why
Chrissie
The amazing Team I am privileged to be a part of is currently holding their leadership development class, Coach Basics (training for new Team Beachbody coaches). I am re-taking the class as well because I have new coaches enrolled and I like to be part of the training with them. It's a really wonderful "boot camp" for new coaches because the first part of the training really helps to guide them through all of the basics of their new business and get them off to a great start. Day 2 of the training focuses on the development of a strong, emotional WHY. If you have ever been through a goal-setting class or done much professional development training, you will know this is a common theme in anything to do with personal achievement. If the reason you want something is strong enough and there is some deep emotional component atttached to it, you are more likely to reach your goal than if you didn't really have much thought invested in your goal. We teach very much the same thing to our fitness challengers. You have to have a deep, emotional reason for wanting to lose weight, get healthy, or get in shape or you won't be serious about sticking with your fitness and nutrition plan through the difficult times.

So, my WHY has pretty much always been the same but seems to intensify as time goes on. So, tonight as I was preparing my assignment, I realized I have never publicly shared my WHY for doing what I do. Yes, I believe it is my calling to help women learn how to regain their self-esteem and God has provided many avenues for me to do this: Esthetics, Electrolysis, my various social media sites and groups, and now my challenge groups via Team Beachbody. What a blessing!! But my WHY...is much more personal and emotional. It is the driving force behind everything action I take each day. My WHY is the big picture behind each goal I set. So, I want to share with you what I shared with my leadership group because I think my WHY is the same as so many other moms out there who may not know there is a better way. There IS a better way. I can show you a better way. 


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My 'WHY' as a Team Beachbody coach is a collective of many mental images but can be summed up in one word: Freedom.



I have always had a difficult time coming under authority but it all came to a head after my first daughter was born in 2004 and I had to return to work when she was only 6 weeks old. Everything inside of me rejected the idea of spending 8 hours a day inside a tiny, windowless cubicle shuffling papers for a man whose wife got to be home with her kids while my sweet baby was being raised by a stranger. I spent my lunch breaks in the restroom sobbing. In desperation, I signed up as a Mary Kay consultant, my first exposure to Network Marketing. That amazing company introduced me to the wonderful notion called personal development. I began using my 8 hours to listen to endless training and teaching tapes by the most phenomenal and inspirational women in Network Marketing. I basically filled my head with personal development for 40 hours a week for months on end. It was then that I began to see what was possible. I could see that there was freedom outside of my cubicle walls. And I wanted it very badly!

It wasn't until Team Beachbody was introduced to me that I discovered the perfect vehicle for that freedom. The word freedom here embodies many different types of freedom for me. Freedom from the dead weight of a dead-end paycheck-to-paycheck job, freedom from a nightmarish traffic commute, freedom from mediocre, average, and ordinary, and freedom of location. Financial freedom is a BIG one! Freeing my family from the debt of student loans will be a dream come true for me. But the really HUGE freedom, the one that hits the emotional hotspot for me is FREEDOM FROM REGRET.

Let me tell you something. I have memories of my oldest daughter in her infant to toddler years playing dress up and singing and dancing in the living room. I have memories of her wearing her Little Mermaid swimsuit, wearing giant water wings, posing in her favorite sunglasses. I have all kinds of memories.



I have memories of my 2 year old son's fluffy cloth-diaper butt pushing his dump truck up our driveway as fast as he could, chubby legs flying out to the sides.




That little girl is about to be 10 and my son's legs aren't chubby anymore. My youngest daughter is about to turn 3. 




The pain that I feel at the thought of missing any part of what little remains of their childhood just about kills me. That pain is called regret. I refuse to regret missing out on the shortest, yet most vitally important part of their lives. I want to have those snapshot memories. And I want to have them while being free from debt and obligation. I want my husband to be free to choose whether or not he wants to work away from home. I want to be free to take my family and make new snapshot memories on the fly. I want FREEDOM. I want it for my family. 
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I know so many of you reading this can relate to that sinking feeling. That overwhelming sadness at having missed out on something that you can never, ever get back. If you can relate, this is what I want you to know: There is a better way. And even if you don't find it through Team Beachbody, go find it. Go find it!



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Ever Onward! A New Year
Chrissie

The beginning of another year is always so exciting to me! It's a blank slate, a chance to start over and do better, a fresh opportunity. I have been very busy the last week or so making plans for my 2014; writing down goals, saving photos to paste on my dream board, journaling my wishes and desires for my family, my self, and my two businesses. What I haven't done much of is reflect on the previous year. At the most, I have marvelled at what I have accomplished (as it is quite marvelous, if I do say so myself). Those are things such as finally getting my health and fitness back on track, sticking to a fitness program for longer than a few days, getting out of my comfort zone and beginning to build a successful business, and standing up for myself in a variety of other ways. I have come to know "me" on a deeper level. Those things are great testimonies!


But there are some struggles that linger, that I'm still dealing with. I've made a lot of progress but I haven't arrived. One of these struggles is with postpartum-turned-chronic depression (since I'm not sure I can, technically, still call it postpartum now that Kinley will be 3 next month, lol). Fitness and nutrition have, without a shred of doubt, helped to put those horrible, agonizing days behind me. I owe so very much to Team Beachbody for giving me the tools I needed to climb out of that deep, dark pit. What I'm left with are the dirty rags of shame and guilt that I'm assuming will take a little longer to shed completely. But I'm getting there and that's what is important to remember. 

I'm currently reading Joel Osteen's I Declare: 31 Promises to Speak Over Your Life. It's a wonderful, empowering 31 day devotional journey. Today, the passage I read caused me to look back over my journey with PPD and my eyes are opened to see the grace that was extended to me to get through such a harrowing time. You see, there were days when I couldn't see the light at the end of the tunnel, the whole world was dark and cold. I believed, at times, that I couldn't survive it and, even others, when I didn't want to. It's hard to understand if you've never experienced it but I believe PPD is a deeper, darker, lonlier place to dwell than a more common clinical depression. It has too many other faces and they all hide behind or get lumped under the name Postpartum Depression. 

Today's passage said that God gives us the grace and favor we need for the time we are in. He does it one day at a time and that is how we live through it. It's easy, looking back, to wonder how I ever made it but the truth is that I survived each day, a day at a time. And it's only looking back, collectively, that you can say, "I have arrived." But we all have to do it one day at a time. I'm sure this may not be a great revelation for some of you, and that is fine. It is such a blessing for me to know that, though, it may appear to some looking in on my life that I went from Point A to Point B but I'm still on this journey. The train is still rolling and I'm still walking out the changes in my life. One day at a time. Sometimes I go through valleys. I'm going through one now in the days following the death of my grandfather. But experience has taught me that I'm gathering what I need from this experience and carrying it with me so that I can share what I have learned with others who follow. And that, I believe, is part of God's purpose for carrying me through the valleys vs. transporting me out of them completely, though He certainly has the power to do so. Had I not gone through the level of pain that I did, I would not have had the courage or knowledge to take hold of someone else's hand and walk with them out of their valley. And it is now my blessing to watch these transformations take place and know that my misery served a higher purpose.

So, my goal this year is to help as many people as I can to see their potential and reach for it! I'm not only talking about through Team Beachbody and my incredible accountability groups but my children. This year I will embark on another humbling, pretty scary, but exciting journey to homeschool my 3 kiddos. It is not something I ever considered or thought myself capable of doing but I feel called to do it and I know He will give me the grace and Wisdom to do it His way. There are a number of reasons I could list for why I feel called to do this but this is the one that keeps coming out on paper when I journal about this subject. God gave these children to me and my most important job as their mother is to lead them back to Him, to help them see their God-given potential and give them the tools to reach for it. 

Yes, I know that 2014 is going to be an amazing year for my family. I can't wait to see what God is going to do!! Happy New Year to you all!



What are some of your goals for this year? I'd love to hear them! You can comment below, email me, or message me through Facebook if you'd rather not share publicly. 

**If you're interested in learning more about one of my upcoming accountability groups, email me at chrissie828@gmail.com or send me a message through Facebook. :)

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P90X: Finishing Up
Chrissie
Once again I have let time get away from me. I had intended to blog my P90X experience and now I am almost done with P90X! It has been a trying experience to be sure. And a long, drawn out one at times as sickness, injuries, and other setbacks have delayed me. But I haven't given up and I think that is what is important to remember. Sticking with it and moving forward. No matter how long it takes me to finish, staying with it is what produces the results. I see people too frequently think they have to start all over again when setbacks occur, and, listen to me.....they always do!! If I had to start over every time I had a delay, I would NEVER finish. I'm in it for the results, not the perfection of sticking to a schedule. The schedule is there to help you and guide you, not rule you. 

So, speaking of results!! I, obviously do not have "final" results yet but I took some photos a couple weeks ago to mark my progress so far with P90X because I just "needed to see" tangible evidence that this program was working. Here's the thing I have learned about P90X: You will most likely not see dramatic weight loss right off the bat or even from week to week. The victories you see with P90X are mostly non-scale related. I haven't lost a lot of weight with this program, not like when I was doing Combat. BUT, I have lost 3 pants sizes!!! I can wear a fitted shirt and not have side-belly spillover!!! I have muscles that I have never seen before!!! I have stamina that I never had before, I can wear clothes I haven't been able to wear in years, I look better in my wedding dress now than when I wore it on my wedding day!!! Those things are immeasurable. So, here are my pictures from recently while we await my "final" pictures. 


So, in two weeks I will be done with this program and I'm trying to decide what program I will be doing next. P90X3 comes out in only 2 more days and I would LOVE to do it because it's all the hype right now and there will be a lot of groups forming for everyone to work out together. That's super exciting!! But we have lot of household dynamics changing at the current time and I don't know if a new purchase is wise. I have two programs that I haven't done that I am considering doing FIRST. In which order, I am not certain. We have Focus T25 which is an incredible program and we also have the Ultimate Reset which I really "need" to do to learn how to eat better and really bust through this plateau. 

So, I have been considering doing the Reset first after the beginning of the New Year and once we get moved into our new house! Yes, new house!!! So, Mike and I put a contract on a (new to us) house and if everything goes smoothly, our closing date is set for January 3. What better way to break in a new kitchen than with the Ultimate Reset and cooking wholesome delicious foods in it? 

These are exciting times for us and a little scary too. I turned in my notice at my current "away from home" job and am working it out through the end of the year. We are buying a house and moving. And now I feel called to homeschool my children, which when I really think about it answers more questions than it raises. So, I am praying about all of these things and exploring all of the possibilities. Ultimately, I know that He is in control and my job is to follow His will to the best of my ability. It doesn't always (read, rarely ever) make sense to my head what He is asking and where He is leading but it always turns out amazing. And it always gives me much to write about!! 

In the meantime, I will continue with my workouts and my wonderful, amazing challenge groups! Watching what God is doing in others' lives through those groups amazes me daily!! Trust me, if you have a desire for change in your life healthwise and fitness-wise, message me and I will help you. It is what I love to do. And the results speak for themselves. 


Here are some recent pictures of the shenanigans the kids have been up to. :)






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Back to School? Already?!!
Chrissie
With the beginning of the new month came the unofficial end of Summer. School started 3 weeks ago! Where did the summer go? We were just counting down the days until our June beach vacation and we're already in another school year. My clients and I have been disussing the last few days why the first day of the new school year is such a big deal to moms. We have come to the conclusion that it's an in-your-face reminder of how quickly your children are growing and that time is ticking away. I tell this story frequently to make my point. When Reagan was very little a lot of my friends had kids that were starting Kindergarten and I remember how utterly ridiculous they would act on the first day of Kindergarten. I swore I would not be that mom. Needless to say, I was that mom and probably worse because of PPD. Upon contemplating this (because that's what I do is contemplate everything to its death), I came to see that it was due to unrealized expectations. When you bring home your baby from the hospital you think you have so much time because all of it is out in front of you. You make plans, you dream of all the things you will do with your child and teach your child in those first 5 years. And perhaps you do some of them and others you put on a back burner because "there's plenty of time". And then you're dropping them off or sending them on the school bus for their first day of Kindergarten and you are shockingly overtaken by the reailzation that those 5 years are gone forever. You can never get them back and the next phase of your child's life (and yours) has begun. One word sums it up for me: regret. Perhaps not all moms feel this way but when I was in the throes of PPD, the walk home from the bus stop without my "baby" was agonizingly regretful.



This month Reagan started 4th grade. Each year is definitely not like that first day of Kindergarten but it still has it's bittersweet moments. Thankfully, I feel like I made the very most of the moments I had with Reagan over the summer. And I owe so much of my new carpe diem attitude to Beachbody and Shakeology!

Instead of being too tired, too depressed, or too down on myself because of my appearance, I was up and ready to go each day. We had weekly lunch dates, just the 2 of us while the younger two were in summer day camp. We went to Six Flags and had a blast and were even able to catch the last ride of the night for our favorite ride, Mind Bender, because we RAN from one side of the park to the other. I would NOT have been able to do that last year. Ha!!


During the first week of school, I also participated in my first-ever 5-day Clean Eating Challenge. My coach was hosting this as a Facebook Challenge Group and even though I've been doing fantastic with my workout programs, I knew my eating habits could stand to be "cleaned" up. The basic rules were: Shakeology 1x per day, stay active each day, and follow a Clean Eating diet. 


I was surprised at how easy and fun that it was! I had so many delicious meals that week! I was never hungry, I felt amazing, and I lost almost 2 inches off my waist.....IN 5 DAYS! It was so awesome that I have decided to host my own challenge group which kicks off tomorrow morning! I can't wait to post the results from that. 







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P90X Day 1: Chest & Back
Chrissie
Today was supposed to be my day off. Key word: supposed. I had planned to work on cleaning up the house, doing some laundry, maybe even getting a head start on packing (we are in the process of possibly buying a house), making some phone calls, and using the remainder of my gift money to get a relaxing spa pedicure. This was my plan BEFORE I came home from work on Tuesday night to a sick 4 year old. 

Instead, my day went something like this. Up on and off all night with sick Caleb. Sleep later than intended because of exhaustion. Stress and worry about getting a home inspection done within the 7 day time period. Stress and worry whether this is the best time to be buying a house. Get a spa pedicure and TRY to relax while waiting to hear how Mom's surgery went. Rush home to pick up Thing 1 and Thing 2 and go to Thing 1's doctor appointment. Fill out too many pages of redundant paperwork while Thing 1 & Thing 2 roll around like maniacs in the floor of the waiting room. My two year old doesn't seem to understand how gross I think it is when she drags her blanket across a public floor, knowing that the corner of said blanket will go into her mouth as soon as she gets still somewhere. 

Turns out Caleb has hand, foot, and mouth disease, and a pretty severe case of it. My poor dude has blisters all over his mouth and an itchy rash on his hands and feet that keeps him awake and crying all night. So, we leave there and go straight to Publix to fill his prescription, which takes almost an hour. Then we go to McDonald's (sick boy's request) for a cheeseburger and a milkshake in the middle of a thunderstorm. After getting home and administering the medicines and applying the ointments to his rashes, all of which make him scream and cry, Kinley started running a fever. ::sigh::

Bathed them and got them ready for bed, went through the whole medicine and ointment and screaming/crying routine again and finally got both kids in bed. At this point, I'm exhausted and not thinking at all about P90X or working out tonight. So, I poured myself a glass of wine and flopped down on the couch. After an hour, I couldn't stand the guilt any longer. I kept going over all the excuses in my head and trying to convince myself each was super legitimate because I had a really rough day with sick kiddos. But these excuses were coming from me, the coach who is always talking to her challengers about NO EXCUSES!



And then I made a decision like flipping a light switch. I went to the kitchen and downed my E&E and then donned my workout clothes. An hour and fifteen minutes later, I was done with Day 1 of P90X!!


I didn't sweat near as much as I did when I was doing Combat but my arms and core were SHAKING when I got done! I could hardly hold up the camera to take that picture. Ha!! Feels so good to have persevered and do what I said I was going to do despite the difficulties that could have kept me from it. 


I don't think I ever did Chest & Back in the version of P90X I was doing last year. Last year I was doing Lean because it was less intensive and I was very out of shape at that time. This time I'm going for Classic. I really liked this workout but I forgot how hard Ab Ripper X is after an hour of P90X! I will definitely be feeling this in the morning!


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New beginnings!
Chrissie
Not coincidentally, it has been a very long time since I updated this blog. However, I am making a new commitment to try to post here much more frequently. It has been on my heart for quite some time that I had a story others may be able to relate to and possibly even benefit from. So, this is my attempt at resurrecting this blog and bring you all more intimately into my journey.


Like SO many women, I have struggled the majority of my life with self-esteem issues. And also like a lot of other women, I believed that my low self-esteem was because of my appearance. I was always awkward, taller than other girls and felt very boyish, although I was never overweight until adulthood. 

I married at 20 and gained considerably in the first 2 years. By year 3, I was the heaviest I had ever been. I only shopped in the men's department because I hated the way women's clothing looked on me. My marriage was suffering and I felt awful about myself and blamed all of it on my weight. So, I set out with determination and lost 50 pounds in about 6 months' time. I felt pretty good and loved being able to fit into cute clothes again. While I had made a few healthy choices, including more exercise and cutting way back on portions, I was still a smoker and my "portions" usually consisted of unhealthy foods. And I was consuming a LOT of diet soda. 

Shortly after I lost that 50th pound, I became pregnant with Reagan. On July 4, 2003 my life changed drastically, forever. It's a good thing, then, that I couldn't see what the next 10 years would bring. Ha! But that is when my agonizing roller coaster ride of antenatal and postpartum illness began. Only, back then, I had no idea what was happening to me and there was no such thing as Google, Twitter, and Ms. Katherine Stone's wonderful www.postpartumprogress.com . But there WAS iVillage. (insert deliriously happy face)

The next few years were tragic, sad, exciting, happy, terrifying, and spiritual all wrapped up in one. I went through a divorce, moved back home with a toddler, went back to school, moved to the other side of the globe, and got remarried. Whew! Those three years were my transitional years. I quit smoking, decided on a career path, and set out to redefine who I was as a woman, wife, and mother. 

Caleb came in 2009 and I thought that since my life was so dramatically improved that I wouldn't have the same postpartum experiences as I did with Reagan. But another traumatic birth experience and some circumstantial issues combined with a predisposition toward depression and an ugly new factor called D-MER proved me very, very wrong. But I fought hard and became educated about what was going on with me. And I had my amazing iVillage family that supported me through it. 

The Spring after Caleb was born I enrolled in Electrology school and began Weight Watchers. I was pursuing my dream and losing weight in a much healthier way than I had in the past. I felt amazing. I had beaten postpartum illness, I had an amazing husband, two amazing children, and I was chasing down my dreams. Life was so good. 

And SURPRISE!! The week of Caleb's 1st birthday we found out we were expecting again. As horrible as it sounds, I felt completely devastated at first. I experienced a wide and wild range of emotions in the beginning from utter terror to a calm peace that everything was going to work out. 

The antenatal illness didn't really set in until after our move back to GA the Fall before Kinley was born. But when it did, it hit with a vengeance. There were days I was certain I wouldn't make it. But I did. Kinley was born on a warm day in February a couple weeks after a horrible ice storm. As prepared as we tried to be for the post-delivery complications I had experienced in the past, we couldn't prevent it from happening again. So, another traumatic birth experience coming fresh out of severe antenatal illness combined with an early onset of D-MER...I was doomed from the beginning. I was a rock star the first week or so at home with the three kids. And then the hideous PPD monster reared its ugly head and I plunged into the deepest darkness I have ever experienced. 

I can sit here right now and tell you readers that I don't know how I got through it. God's Grace is the only thing I can imagine that carried me through safely to the other side. Like the Footprints poem that my Murr loved so much; I definitely only saw one set of footprints during that time. But it certainly felt like I was all alone and going it on my own. 

Because of how severe the illness was and how deep the feelings of self-loathing I ate (and drank. Lots of delicious home-brewed beer.). I gained a LOT of weight. I tried Weight Watchers again but failed. I had pretty much resolved that I would always be heavy from here on out and there was no sense in making myself more miserable trying to lose what couldn't be lost. 

But I had this wonderful girlfriend on Facebook (now my rockstar Beachbody coach) that was a fellow iVillager. She had been doing this thing called Shakeology and P90X and was always talking about how wonderful she felt. She posted pictures of her progress and she looked absolutely amazing. For a YEAR I watched her go through this incredible transformation before I decided that I wanted in on this deal too. So, Mike and I decided to go for it. We signed up for a P90X and Shakeology Challenge Group and I signed as a coach to get the amazing Shakeology discount that I was sure we would need with both of us doing it.  


IT. CHANGED. MY. LIFE. 

The Shakeology made a difference immediately for me. I had so much energy, I didn't crave the usual salty snacks or the pizza or the sweets, and I just felt....Good! I am proud to say that Mike and I stuck to the rigorous P90X routine nearly perfectly for the first 20 or so days (try doing anything new consistently for 21 days! It's harder than you think!). I suffered with the most horrible shin splints the entire time and then I sprained my ankle. And within a week or so, I had completely quit my workouts and the Shakeology. 

Then an amazing work opportunity came along for me and my life changed again. All of our lives changed when I started working part time and Caleb and Kinley started preschool. In March of this year, the preschool had a book fair and did something called Muffins for Moms. I went to the school that morning to spend the day with Caleb. While I was there, the school photographer was going around snapping photos of all the kiddos with their moms. A few days later, my picture showed up on the preschool's Facebook page, standing next to Caleb at the book fair. I was mortified at how huge I looked. I was shocked and ashamed that I had let myself get that way and decided on the spot that I was going to change it.


I started drinking my Shakeology again every single day and I bought Les Mills Combat fitness program because I thought it would be better for my schedule with it being shorter workout durations than P90X. I lost a good amount of weight on Shakeology and diet changes alone before I started Combat but I didn't start seeing the physical changes to my body until after I started Combat. 

Here are my Les Mills Combat results!! I'm still far out from my goal fitness level but I'm so thrilled with the progress that I've made. And I love that so many people have come forward to tell me how motivated and inspired they have been by watching my transformation over the last few months. That blesses me so much! 


Even better than an awesome physical transformation is the mental and spiritual transformation that has taken place. I feel like I have finally found the answer to keeping the depression at bay and my postpartum period is finally behind me forever. I can finally close that chapter of my life for good and know that my scars haven't left me bitter about it. Instead, God has used my mess to inspire others to better physical and mental health also. Through it all I have learned to love myself so much more which is what I think postpartum robs you of. It robs you of self-love by screaming at you that you're not good enough. Not a good enough wife, not a good enough mother, not a good enough woman, or maybe not even a good enough person. But having a loving support group, setting goals, and having the love of people gently pushing you to reach for your dreams and goals, and then doing it....that's the best feeling in the world. 


I have learned I can do anything in this world that I set out to do. If I can believe it, I can achieve it. I want my kids to grow up with the same belief in themselves. And I want new mothers out there who may be suffering what I suffered to know that they too can overcome and begin to love themselves again. 


That is Beachbody! Are you ready to make a change? Reach out! 

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