As I sit on my front porch today enjoying the blessing of a 68 degree day in May, I notice the way my house looks at this particular time of the day when the sun shines straight down through the leaves of the oak tree making the undersides of each leaf glow neon green and the shadows dance on the ground. I feel such incredible peace.
I think back to a time when I had bought my first home and was pregnant with my first baby, Reagan. I had been laid off from my job during that time and so I spent the majority of that pregnancy at home with my dog, Jackie Dog, getting things ready for baby. I fell in love with the way my kitchen looked midday when the sun would come in through the kitchen windows. I loved having coffee on my porch with Jack and watching the birds in my backyard. I knew then that I belonged at home.
When I went back to work after Reagan was born I thought for sure it would kill me to, not only be away from my baby for 10 hours per day but, to be shut away inside a dark and gloomy building, huddled into my tiny cubicle, shuffling papers day in and day out, missing all of the things I loved so dearly. And I think it nearly did kill me. I remember locking myself in a bathroom stall and crying daily, eating my lunch at my desk and looking at a picture of my beautiful baby, knowing that she was with someone else that couldn't possibly love her like I did.
My obsession with personal development began during that time as I listened to hundreds of hours of leadership training while I worked away inside that cubicle. I knew then that Network Marketing was the answer for me and my hope grew during that time. I never imagined that the dreams that were planted in my heart back then would take root the way they did and grow into something as amazing as what I have now. What a journey and adventure I have been on!
And today, 13 years later, I got to wake up to the sounds of my kids' laughter and have coffee on my front porch. I got to have a picnic lunch my homeschooled kids and enjoy the way the sun looks while shining on their awesome faces in the middle of the day. And I still get to pursue my goals and chase down my bigger dreams!
How blessed I am! And even more blessed to be out from under the dark shadow of depression that kept me from knowing how blessed I was for so many years and robbed me of so much time. Thank God for leading me to the right places and the right people and for giving me the courage to follow Him and my dreams. So much of my adult life has been basically doing trust falls with God, lol! The cool thing about that is that He is always there and I always fall right into the middle of His will for my life. It is easier now to take those leaps of faith because I know that I know that I know He will be there to catch me.
Peace out!
Peace out!